no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
