I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
being pregnant is like rehab
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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