I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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