I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will be naked everywhere
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
