I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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