the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
