evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This baby is an asshole
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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