suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize