how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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