Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
