I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
