I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
