I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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