I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
