Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
