What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Still dying that you shit outside
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
