you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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