I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
