but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There r osticjed everywhere
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
