Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize