Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
