Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
