there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize