And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just had sex on a roof
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
