I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
