just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
