She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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