the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
