The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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