Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
