He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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