i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Randomize
