he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
