# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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