So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
