shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
