I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
