Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
