It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
