So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
