the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
