Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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