Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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