i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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