I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize