Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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