just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
this is an emotional support booty call
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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