I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My dick has a subreddit
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
