): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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