Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize