the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
