ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
