I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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