So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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