so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
