marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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