I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize