And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
