it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
