I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
