remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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