hotel room ftw
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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