The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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