capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
