so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
only if we run a train.
done.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
