shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Help. Why am I so naked?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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