Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
