I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I want to have your abortion
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
